Enough said

Having just seen the brilliantly touching film 'Enough said', it's clear that one person's criticisms of another is simply that - criticisms, but not truth.

Enough Said

'Enough said' stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Eva, a divorced single parent who spends her days enjoying work as a masseuse but dreading her daughter's impending departure for college. At a party, she meets Albert (James Gandolfini), a sweet, funny and like-minded man who is also facing the prospect of 'an empty nest'. Although Eva is not initially attracted to Albert, an unexpected, happy romance blossoms.

At the same time, Eva also befriends Marianne, a new massage client, but doesn't initially realise that Albert is Marianne's ex-husband! Eva looks up to Marianne's lifestyle and sense of sophistication, but when Marianne starts denigrating her ex-husband's character and behaviours, at some point, the penny drops!

Instead of coming clean to both Albert and Marianne, she finds herself morbidly attached to Marianne's disparaging criticisms of Albert, with the inevitable consequence that those criticisms poison her own perception of Albert.

What can this teach us? Firstly, we must be careful not to let the negative viewpoints of others cloud our own perceptions, especially when it comes to our closest relationships.

Secondly, in this messy world of break-ups and make-ups, marriages and divorces, we must be careful not to judge another person through our narrow lens. We only have our opinions about each other, not the facts.

In any case, as Jessie J reminds us, 'Nobody's Perfect...'.

Thirdly, anyone can change; so why do so many people insist on holding onto their outdated perceptions of someone they once knew in the past? In fact, that person may have long since worked on themselves and cleaned up their act!

The only thing that matters is how we see our own lives, and how we act/react. Can we mature quickly enough to see that the mirror of relationship gives us a vital opportunity to see our own flaws? We just need to have the courage to look within.

If you've had an acrimonious relationship and/or break-up, the invitation is to move into forgiveness, and try to see the highest and best in that person anyway.

Oftentimes, when we see the 'bad' in others, what that really means is that we are perceiving them through a distorted lens. When we celebrate the positive aspects of another human being, we help them, and we also help ourselves in the process.

It's called 'shining the Light'.

Jaime Tanna
Founder and Director of Energy Therapy